Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page says he did not steal the opening riff of “Stairway to Heaven” from the Spirit song “Taurus”, but they’re calling bullshit.
Monthly Archives: June 2016
Chance Meating
A deli meat truck collided with a bread truck, spilling both of its contents all over a New Jersey highway. Governor Christie has declared a state of emergency and is asking FEMA for 100,000 Ziploc bags.
Got Milk?
At a Target store in Connecticut, a man verbally accosted a woman for breast feeding in public. It turned out the guy had a history of lactose intolerance.
Philadelphia Fee-dumb
Philadelphia will soon be imposing a soda tax of 1.5 cents per ounce, making free refills the newest form of tax evasion.
Hack Job
Russian cyber hackers infiltrated the DNC’s computers and stole research on Donald Trump. In response, Trump plans to build a 45 ft firewall around his own computers, and he wants the Russians to pay for it.
It’s a Pattern
My self-confidence is always at its peak in the summer months. I’m sure I’d be an ego-maniac if I didn’t have to keep putting suntan lotion on my bald spot.
Taco Tussle
Moe’s Southwest Grill beat out Chipotle as America’s most popular Mexican fast food restaurant. They did it by offering customers twice the flavor with half the diarrhea.
The Grown Ups
Popular dating app Tinder is no longer available to users under 18 years of age. They’ve decided you have to be an adult if you want to act like a horny teenager.
Out Ta Get Me
Rocker Axl Rose is demanding that Google take down photos of him when he was overweight. Or in other words, “Hey everybody, check out my fat pics!”
Sweet Deal
The owner of Hostess Brands has purchased the Playboy Mansion. Hugh Hefner is thrilled, knowing that after he dies the house will still be filled with Ding Dongs and Ho Hos.