I don’t understand couples who sit on the same side of a booth when eating in restaurants. But I shouldn’t judge. Maybe they’re just sick of looking at each other’s dumb faces.
Category Archives: love and dating
Most Likely to Succeed
A Wisconsin teen spent $500 on roses and gave one to every girl in his school so they would feel special on Valentine’s Day. This was the first stage of his larger plan, which is to have sex with every girl in his school.
I Hate Valentine’s Day – the music video!
He’s at the Cantina
Carrie Fisher confirmed that while filming Star Wars she had an affair with Harrison Ford, who was married at the time. And it was especially hard on Chewbacca, who had to keep covering for him.
The Grown Ups
Popular dating app Tinder is no longer available to users under 18 years of age. They’ve decided you have to be an adult if you want to act like a horny teenager.
Keeping It Casual
Gwen Stefani turned down Blake Shelton’s marriage proposal. As happy as they’ve been together, she just couldn’t see herself pretending to like country music for the rest of her life.
Baaad Romance
I just learned that North Carolina has a dating website for “Farmers Only.” Apparently they are the number one site for creating meaningful relationships between cowhands and sheep.
May I Offer You a Banana?
I’ve always had trouble getting women to take me seriously. Maybe I should save the gorilla suit for the second date.
Man Down
I have always been attracted to sharp-tongued women who are only out to hurt me. I asked my mother for her thoughts on the matter. She told me to stop being such a pussy and then she kicked me in the nuts.
Hit and Run
I woke up this morning next to a stranger, so I quietly gathered my things and let myself out. I’ve got to stop doing this. This is the second apartment I’ve lost this way.