I am not a God-fearing American, but I am a Burmese Python-fearing American. Would someone please come over and get this thing out my kitchen? First responder gets a back rub.
Category Archives: home
For the Birds
I have been stealing my neighbor’s morning newspaper for over a month. I know it’s not right, but if you ran an indoor bird sanctuary out of your apartment like I do, you’d understand the need.
Home Invasion
Last night I came home to find my apartment in total disarray. I called the police to report the break-in and they said they’d be right over. I quickly cleaned and dusted my entire place as I couldn’t bear the thought of having house guests the way things currently looked.
New Age Ants
I have a flying ant problem in my apartment. I sprayed them with a solution of peppermint oil and soapy water. It actually worked. Never has aromatherapy and a bubble bath been so deadly.