Yesterday I was food poisoned at Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville restaurant. Now some people claim that there’s a prep cook to blame, but I think it’s the head chef’s fault.
(Note: The events in the above posting are false. It is the author of the posting that is full of shit, and not Jimmy’s burgers.)
Last night I went stand-up paddle boarding. It’s the perfect sport for me because I’m really good at standing, plus I love sweeping.
Yesterday Pope Francis visited a Philadelphia prison, taking time to hug and shake hands with inmates. He returned later that evening for a follow-up visit, after discovering his wallet and wristwatch were missing.
House Speaker John Boehner announced his resignation at the end of the month. He plans on spending more time with his family, self-tanning and openly weeping.
Republican candidate Ben Carson recently stated that Darwin’s theory of evolution was created by the Devil. That may be so, but it doesn’t change the fact that Carson’s campaign is quickly becoming an endangered species.
This non-stop media coverage of Pope Francis in America is exhausting. Who does he think he is? Donald Trump?
The copyright to the tune “Happy Birthday” has finally expired, meaning it can now be used without paying any royalties. Available soon on iTunes – Jon Curtis Rose Sings and Plays ‘Happy Birthday’: Names Starting with ‘A’. I’ve already got an idea for a follow-up album.
Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson stated that he doesn’t think a Muslim should ever be US president. Donald Trump defended Carson by saying, “surely he only meant Muslim women.”
Germany is about to host Oktoberfest, and they will designate the first Sunday as a Gay Pride event. It’s the only day of the 2-week festival that’s in no danger of running out of sausages.
Donald Trump says he will reject the $400,000 yearly salary if elected president. You see, even he knows what a Trump presidency is worth.