Donald Trump pledges to stop the war on Christmas and to start one with everyone else.
Category Archives: religion
You’ve Got to Urn it
The Vatican has ruled that Catholics are no longer allowed to scatter their cremation ashes – because if they ever have follow-up questions regarding your death, they want to know where to find you.
Secret Stash
My parents are both atheists and they tried to raise me without any religion. But then one day I found a bible in our house. It was hidden under my dad’s porno mags.
Change of Plans
Airport security lines have been so unbearably long lately that even radical Islam is thinking about staying home this summer.
Please Excuse Me
Today the Pope met with Bernie Sanders, but cut the visit short after explaining he had to go to Lesbos to pick up 3 families of Syrian refugees. Sanders grew skeptical and told the Pontiff that if he didn’t want to hang out, next time just say so.
Ay Yay Yay
Pope Francis visited Mexico City and was festively greeted by a Mariachi band. The Pope pretended to enjoy the first song, but then he gave the guys $20 to go bother another table.
Pew
Pope Francis has decided that women will now be included in the Holy Thursday foot-washing rituals during Easter week. And if that doesn’t get rid of the smell, he may just move the whole service outside.