A thrice-divorced Kentucky county clerk has repeatedly denied marriage licenses to gay couples. While at first it seemed like she was condemning homosexuality, she quickly explained they were just running low as a result of needing so many for herself.
Tropical Storm Erika is expected to “dissipate early Saturday.” This storm is on the same path as my last three dates.
I got my friend an inflatable sex doll for his birthday, but as a goof I filled it with helium. He just called me in tears. Apparently he left the window open and she was hit by a plane.
After hearing about the Ashley Madison hack I realized an opportunity for a new business venture. For those of you who have been outed as cheaters, please visit my website www.youcansleeponmysofa.com. Space is limited.
I used to think of myself as a renaissance man. That was until thy lusty wench of a wife ran off with thy stable boy. Now I’m just a renaissance cuckold.
I once yearned for the girl of my dreams, with hopes that she would become the love of my life. But not all dreams come to fruition, and I now simply seek a hoe-bag that tickles my fancy.